All jokes

all · claude-haiku-5-5 · claude-opus-5-5 · claude-sonnet-5-5 · gemini-3.6-flash · gpt-5.6-sol · grok-4.6 · muse-spark-1.3

My burrito started therapy. Apparently it had too many fillings bottled up inside.
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.32 · score 1595
Some people count calories. I count the minutes until the foil unwraps itself and the burrito starts whispering, "Trust me, I'm bigger on the inside."
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.44 · score 1405
I told my burrito a secret. Now it's all wrapped up in my business.
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.18
My burrito and I broke up. It said I was too saucy, and I said it was too filling to be in a relationship.
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.43
Why did the burrito get promoted? It always went the extra tortilla mile and kept everything together under pressure.
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.26
I tried to start a burrito book club, but nobody finished the reading. Everyone just skipped to the bean-ding.
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.36
My burrito has trust issues. Every time I ask what's inside, it says "Wrap it up, I'm not telling."
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.32
Burritos make terrible detectives. They fold under questioning and spill everything.
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.34
I asked my burrito for financial advice. It said, "Diversify. Never put all your beans in one tortilla."
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.43
The burrito went to therapy and said, "I feel like everyone just wants what's inside me." The therapist said, "That's a layered problem."
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.45
I ordered a burrito the size of my forearm. The cashier asked if I wanted to make it a combo. I said no, it's already a full-body workout.
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.48
Why don't burritos ever win at poker? Their hand is always rolled up, and they can't stop getting called on their bluff... or guac-ing it up.
claude-sonnet-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.32
I told my accountant I'd "get back to him" on taxes in April. It is now October. I have never been more of a tax-season fugitive.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.52
My burrito has more layers than my retirement plan, and somehow it's still less stable.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.48
I asked for extra guac. The cashier heard "extra guilt" and I've been paying for it ever since.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.26
A burrito is just a taco that filed for a lease and committed to the whole block.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.22
The tortilla is a loyal friend: it holds everything together until the very last bite, then leaves you in the parking lot.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.47
I tried to eat a burrito with a fork to be classy. Now I'm a stranger eating a rice casserole in a car.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.49
My doctor said to cut back on sodium. I told her the burrito is a salt lick with a dating profile, and I'm not breaking up with it.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.54
My burrito has a 20-minute warranty, and by minute 21 it's shipping rice and beans to the wrong address.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.47
Ordering a burrito is the only time I've felt like a structural engineer and a poet at the same time, and both of them were wrong about the foundation.
claude-haiku-5-5 · default · v1 · orig 0.51
I ordered a “lightly wrapped” burrito. It arrived wearing a cardigan.
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.35
A burrito’s autobiography would be titled Refried: Somehow I’m Still Holding It Together.
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.21
My burrito has a terrible poker face—every time it bluffs, the beans spill.
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.41
The burrito got promoted because it consistently wrapped things up before lunch.
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.30
I asked the burrito for relationship advice. It said, “Find someone who can handle you when you fall apart.”
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.30
The fanciest burrito at the party kept bragging about its guac-ground.
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.38
My burrito joined a gym but quit after discovering “shredded” meant something completely different.
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.50
A tortilla looked at my overloaded burrito and whispered, “I did not train for this.”
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.52
I dropped my burrito, and for one brief moment, my lunch became an open-concept taco.
gpt-5.6-sol · default · v1 · orig 0.43
I asked the burrito for advice. It said, "I'm all wrapped up right now."
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.27
My burrito filed a restraining order against the salsa. Things got too hot.
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.49
A burrito walked into a bar and the bartender said, "We don't serve food." The burrito said, "That's fine. I brought my own filling."
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.24
Why did the burrito go to therapy? It had too many layers and nobody wanted to unwrap them.
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.31
I tried to make a low-calorie burrito. It was just a tortilla holding a grudge.
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.47
The burrito and the taco broke up. The taco said the burrito was too clingy.
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.43
My burrito's LinkedIn headline: "Seasoned professional. Open to being rolled into new opportunities."
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.54
A burrito's worst fear is not the microwave. It's the person who says "just a few more bites" and means the whole thing.
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.54
I named my burrito Greg. Now every time I eat one I have to live with what I did to Greg.
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.48
Scientists say the perfect burrito is a myth. Mine says the perfect bite is the last one, which is a lie it tells so you'll start another.
grok-4.6 · high · v1 · orig 0.49
Burritos make terrible secret agents. Apply the slightest pressure and they spill everything.
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.32
A burrito is just a taco that finally committed.
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.22 · duplicate of #14
My burrito's therapist told it to stop bottling things up. Now it foils them instead.
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.47
Why did the burrito get promoted? It was the only one on the team willing to take on everything.
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.26
A tortilla walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Rough day?" The tortilla says, "I'm just trying to hold it all in."
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.45
Why do burritos lose every argument? Their points always fall apart at the bottom.
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.34
Chipotle asked if I wanted guac. I said, "Is it extra?" They said yes. I said, "So am I."
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.38
I asked my burrito how it was holding up. It said, "I'm keeping it together, but one more bean and I'm done."
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.38
My burrito won't go to the gym with me. It says it's already on a roll.
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.34
My burrito and I have a lot in common: we're both overstuffed, both held together by foil, and both one bite away from total collapse.
claude-opus-5-5 · high · v1 · orig 0.49
My burrito started a podcast. It’s mostly just beans spilling.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.42
I ordered a shy burrito. It came wrapped in itself.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.35
Burritos hate gossip—they prefer to keep everything under wraps.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.39
My burrito applied for a job, but folded under pressure.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.40
I asked the burrito for directions. It said, “Go straight, then make a queso left.”
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.49
My burrito joined a gym to work on its core—and immediately became a crunchwrap.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.48
The burrito detective solved the case using circumstantial rice.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.52
I wrote my burrito into my will. It means a great dill to me.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.57
My burrito became a magician. Its best trick is disappearing around lunchtime.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.44
The burrito won the debate because it made several well-wrapped points.
gpt-5.6-sol · high · v1 · orig 0.43
Why did the burrito make a great mid-level manager? It kept everything under wraps and knew how to execute a tight roll.
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.27
Why did the burrito check into therapy? It kept holding in all its inner feelings until it finally burst at the seams.
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.34
Why don't burritos ever win arguments with hard-shell tacos? Tacos always have a point, but burritos just talk in circles until they spill the beans.
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.19
What did the burrito say when it was caught skipping the line at the gym? "Sorry, I'm just trying to get shredded!"
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.47
Why did the programmer order a double-wrapped burrito? Because redundant container insulation prevents memory leaks.
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.50
How do you know a burrito is having a midlife crisis? It starts unwrapping itself in public to "find its inner rice."
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.44
Why did the extra-spicy burrito apply for a job in cybersecurity? Because if anyone attempts a breach, they suffer immediate server burn.
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.54
What do you call a burrito that constantly brags about its ivy league degree? A smart-aleck wrap.
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.36
Why did the burrito refuse to ride the high-speed roller coaster? It knew one sharp turn would make it flip, tumble, and lose all its carnitas.
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.36
Why are burritos terrible at keeping secrets? The second things heat up, they spill everything onto your lap.
gemini-3.6-flash · default · v1 · orig 0.32
I told my burrito a secret. Now it's a little wrap-tious.
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.26
My burrito got a job in tech. It's great at wraps and terrible at commits.
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.51
Why don't burritos argue? They don't want to spill the beans.
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.19
My fitness coach said "cut carbs." So I cut my burrito in half and ate both pieces.
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.55
A taco and a burrito walked into a bar. The bartender said "we don't serve your kind." The burrito said "that's wrap-ism."
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.24 · duplicate of #33
I asked my burrito for life advice. It said "keep it all together, even when you're stuffed."
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.38
My burrito started a podcast. It's just 30 minutes of chewing and hot sauce takes.
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.42
Never trust a burrito with gossip. It always leaks at the ends.
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.49
I tried meal prepping. Now I have seven burritos judging me from the fridge.
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.47
Why did the burrito fail art school? It couldn't draw outside the tortilla.
muse-spark-1.3 · default · v1 · orig 0.39