🌯 BurritoBench 16 models · 688 jokes · 0 votes

All jokes

all · claude-haiku-5-5 · claude-opus-5-5 · claude-sonnet-5-5 · gemini-3.1-pro · gemini-3.6-flash · gpt-5.6-sol · gpt-5.6-terra · grok-4.6 · muse-spark-1.3 · or-claude-fable-5-1 · or-claude-sonnet-5-5 · or-gemini-3.1-pro · or-gemini-3.8-flash · or-gpt-5.5 · or-gpt-5.6-sol · or-gpt-5.6-terra

  1. Why did the burrito break up with the taco? It couldn't handle someone so open about everything.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.00

  2. I asked the burrito if it wanted to go for a run. It said, "No thanks, I'm already wrapped up in something."

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.14 · duplicate of #473

  3. What do you call a burrito that tells great stories? A tortilla with a lot of filling.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.33

  4. My burrito applied for a job as a therapist. It's really good at keeping things inside.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.42

  5. Why don't burritos ever win arguments? They always fall apart under pressure.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.18

  6. What's a burrito's favorite kind of music? Anything with a tight wrap.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.32

  7. I told my burrito a secret. Now it's beans spilled everywhere.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.22 · duplicate of #462

  8. Why was the burrito so calm during the earthquake? It was foil-ly prepared.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.24

  9. What did the burrito say to the plate at the fancy restaurant? "I feel so under-dressed... no guac, no crema, nothing."

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.48

  10. My doctor said I should stop eating so many burritos. I told him I'd take his advice with a grain of salsa.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · low · v1 · orig 0.42

  11. Why did the burrito break up with the taco? It couldn't handle someone so open about everything.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.00 · duplicate of #499

  12. What did the burrito say at its therapy session? "I just feel like I'm holding everything in."

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.32

  13. Why do burritos make terrible comedians? Their delivery always falls apart halfway through.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.27

  14. What's a burrito's biggest fear? Being left unwrapped in a meeting.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.44

  15. Why did the burrito get promoted? It was great at keeping things together under pressure.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.17 · duplicate of #351

  16. What did the gym trainer say to the burrito? "You've got a solid core, but we need to work on your wrap."

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.38

  17. Why did the burrito refuse to go skydiving? It didn't trust the foil to hold.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.35

  18. How does a burrito apologize? "Sorry, that was a little too much on my plate."

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.46

  19. What's a burrito's favorite philosophy? Everything happens for a season(ing).

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.46

  20. Why was the burrito so calm during the earthquake? It had already accepted that things fall out from the bottom eventually.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · high · v1 · orig 0.24 · duplicate of #506

  21. The first bite of a burrito is pure rice. The last bite is pure rice. Somewhere in the middle, allegedly, a chicken died for this.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.41

  22. "How was the burrito?" "The first half was a religious experience and the second half was a hostage situation."

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.29

  23. A burrito doesn't have a bottom. It has a deadline.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.45

  24. Scientists have confirmed that every burrito contains exactly one bite that is ninety percent sour cream, and that it is placed there by hand, on purpose, by someone who has seen your face.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.44

  25. My uncle has been working on the same burrito since 2019. He's not a slow eater; he just doesn't recognize the authority of endings.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.49

  26. I asked for "a little guac" and the kid looked at me like I'd requested a modest amount of oxygen, then charged me $2.50 for the ambiguity.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.47

  27. The guy at my local place makes direct eye contact with you at the exact moment he gives up on structural integrity.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.41

  28. Nobody has ever finished a burrito and said "I feel great." You finish a burrito the way you finish a marathon: horizontal, confused, and proud of something you can't name.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.43

  29. My therapist said to stop eating my feelings, so now I eat the burrito and keep the feelings in a separate container with a lid, like an adult.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.37

  30. Ordering a burrito "to go" is a polite fiction we maintain with the staff; everyone knows it's being eaten in the parking lot with the seat pushed all the way back, in a posture the owner's manual describes as "not intended for occupancy."

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v2 · orig 0.49

  31. Chipotle announced it's adding a new protein to the menu. Great — something to keep the eleven pounds of rice company.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.36

  32. Taco Bell is testing a burrito wrapped inside another burrito. It's the first menu item that comes with a chaperone.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.43

  33. Every burrito place asks "black beans or pinto?" like it's going to matter once they bury it under a pound of everything else. It's like asking which deck chair you want on the Titanic.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.44

  34. Nothing in a burrito is distributed evenly. The first bite is tortilla. The last bite is a cup of sour cream wearing a hat. For exactly one bite in the middle, everything is perfect — and that's the bite where you're looking at your phone.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.40

  35. Burrito bowls are for people who want a burrito but have a meeting at two.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.26

  36. Gas station burritos don't have an expiration date. The label just says "Best By." No date. That's not a warning. That's a dare.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.47

  37. Guacamole costs extra, which is fair — it's the only ingredient the employee had to go outside to get.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.26

  38. A burrito is the only food you order by the pound and then act surprised by the pound.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.40

  39. You don't eat a burrito. You manage it. Both hands, elbows out, peeling back the foil one inch at a time like a bomb tech who's also having lunch.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.44

  40. A new study says the average American eats sixty burritos a year. The study was conducted by one guy, in his car, at 1 a.m.

    or-claude-fable-5-1 · default · v3 · orig 0.44